Last look of my grandma.

6:25 PM


Sometimes love is so amazing the kind of feeling juz comes whenever its the right time but then still afraid letting the other party know. Afraid of losing her when u tell u but if u dun tell her u'll never know wats the outcome and how she feels. Everyday receiving her msg really brightens my day and knowing that im not forgotten, seeing her is the happiest moments and can put all my bitterness, unhappy stuffs and sadness aside. But of cos i cant expect her to be with me everyday she still have her things to be done and friends to hang out with. So should i tell her how i feel or juz let time proves everything but will i lose her if i dun tell her, i might not be the kind of guy she likes, i may not even qualify to be her guy and can only be good friends or close friends but the fact is that i really hope to be with her, giving my very best to make her happy, buying things that she like bringing her to places for good food, catching movies and moments with her, sharing my happy moments with her and swallow all my sadness myself not wanting her to worry not wanting her to be unhappy. So if she doesnt want me to be her guy its okie, juz pray that someone will cheish her like i do and love her like i do, giving her happiness and not sadness, buy her the things she like. Remembering the things she likes is not difficult watever she says will juz stays in my mind, HAIZZZZZ...should i let her know?? GOD PLS HELP ME...helpless guy prays..and maybe one day she will come and tell mi that im the guy she wants as im afraid of losing her after telling her. Although promise are meant to be broken and nothing is forever even friends, i cant give u anything now but i will work hard for the sake of everything in future and i will love u and cherish u and give u happiness and laughters till the day i leave this earth, this is not a promise but is juz some little things i will do.

Gd nite, love ya always, something left in my heart for a long time.

12:10 AM


On 07082007 at 1032am my grandma passed away in SGH. It may be a blessing for her instead of letting her suffering on earth, but that marks a special day for me cos i have to accept the fact tat i dun wish to accept. Received a call at 1045am from my mom telling me ny grandma's departure, first thing came to my mind, asking myself am i dreaming but the fact is tat im sitting in my van chatting with my client on the phone. After the phone call went over to my grandma's place to wait for the pple to come set up for the wake.

After everything were done, my grandma's body finally came at bout 445pm, brought by the casket pple. All wrapped up in white cloth b4 for praying b4 placing her into the coffin. The sight of my grandma sleeping peacefully brought my tears out, flashback of memories had with her came into my mind juz feeling that things r happening too fast everything juz like happened only moments ago, juz everything, like shopping, playing mahjong, having dinner, preparing our fav. food on weekends, discussing where to go for holidays to start visiting her in the hospital, from her healthy and happy lady to sick and bed ridden grandma cant help but cried silently in my heart as i believe she doesnt wan to see me crying.

After all the SOP thingy is done, it marks the start of the wake and also means tat days of seeing my grandma is getting lesser and lesser and lesser.The rest of my families are trying hard to contact everyone they know informing them of my grandma's departure while im calling my company to inform them.

Night falls, and pple start coming in, from uncle's colleagues to family members to relatives, to clients, to friends...etc but at this time i only hope to have one person beside me but too bad she had her reasons for unable to make it and i can understand and of cos i wun blame her.

Days juz went by and finally its the last day of the wake, 11082007. At 1200pm, monks came, casket pple came many friends and relatives came waiting to send my grandma the last journey. 1300pm, after the last prayer we get to see her for the last time, this time i cant help but cried out. After walking for a few hundred meters we all boarded hte bus and head towards Mandai, a place which i dun wish to reach forever, a place tat made to burn someone into ashes, a place made up of sounds of cries and pple comforting each others, a place where most pple wore white and black.

After reaching that sickening place, we're all gathered in Service hall 2. Final words were made and blessings were given this is the worst time in my life most painful days in my life for 26 yrs,eyes all red, the first time in my life tat i cried till im unable to speak.Then we're brought to the viewing hall, we're all standing in the hall with a big window to view the proceeding of the crementation...in less than 5 mins everythings gone and my mind went blank,standing at the glass window staring in blank only my tears are working, few seconds later than i realise i have to leave the hall..

After the torturing moments, we all proceed to the temple where my grandpa, great grandma and my grandma tablets would be place and after reaching there than i feel much better ..and everything ends at bout 430pm when we reach my grandma's place.

After this inceident i will cherish everything i have now, be it my parents, relatives, wealth although im not rich, friends and i believe tat no matter how bad ur friends treat u or how seldom u all meet up, one day he or she will leave u for good, so juz cherish everything and live a simple life. Thank you everyone for coming to the wake although i dun really know anyone but deep in my heart i appreciate. God Bless Everyone .

11:53 PM


Today is the 7th day of my grandma's death but i juz cant help but to think of her every now and then..hope she will be blessed in heaven.

Alright have to go prepare to fetch my love one now..haha..someone i love but dunno wat she feels and im afraid of hurting her again so till now still haven't let her know how i feel..:)

Anyway if we're gonna be together again i wun hurt u again..love u always

7:57 PM


Finally im back but back with a bad news, someone who dotes on me and my cousins past away, my grandma,an always cheerful and optimistic person someone we loved and treasured someone who pamper us like gems juz left us without giving us a chance to stand by her side, without hearing wat she wanted to tell us, without letting us tell her how much we love her, juz goes off like this. All the nice food she used to cook for us, playing mahjong with her going for dinners and shopping with her is juz like a history and memories for me. There will be no longer this kind of fun activities anymore. And now all of us will have lesser time meeting up as we used to go to her house on weekends, thats the time when i can feel the kind of family love.

Although today is already the 7th day of her death i still cant control my tears when typing this post and flash backs of my grandma juz kept coming into my mind. During the past few days at the wake, i may seem to be strong and pessimistic but in fact tat i really dun wish to go through this, i dun wanna drop tears during the wake as i believe my grandma will be sad to see us down with tears.

Finally everything is over and pray that my grandma will be blessed in heaven. God Bless. Love ya grandma.

7:38 PM